I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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