i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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