Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
