i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
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