Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
