I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
