me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Randomize
