if i died would you start the facebook group?
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Randomize
