just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize
