Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
He did a backflip because drugs
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
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