Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
