I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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