you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
