Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
