just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
