The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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