Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
i think i have two assholes
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
