How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Randomize