it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
wat bout pragnant strippers??
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
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