Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
