I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Text me some of your sweat
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