...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
