he shaved USA in his pubs
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
