The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
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