Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
