I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
