I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
