last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
