My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
no you cant smoke seaweed
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
