...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize