well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
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