i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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