But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
