woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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