Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
How does one acquire holy water?
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
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