Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
you didnt know i had herpes?
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize
