I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
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