Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
