We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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