WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
