In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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