Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
