you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Im part way to drunk.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
jump out the window naked night went bad
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
