eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I'm like, not good at living.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
