I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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