it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
third nipple confirmed
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize
