Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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