in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
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