I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
