You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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