There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
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