Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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