you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Randomize
