I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Randomize
