Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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