Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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