This dress was meant to end up on your floor
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
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