So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
