Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
