Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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