She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
i need to put some appletini on your dick
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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