eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
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