you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
