I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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