he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Randomize
